Surfers

Sitting at the beach, late on a Saturday afternoon,  the water is filled, not with swimmers, but with surfers.  Few are surfing.  Most are sitting on ther boards waiting for the ocean to deliver the ride they hunger for, the thrill, the balm.  Maybe they are tired of settling for less so they can wait for "the right one".  Maybe they are new at surfing and so they are hesitant. Also waiting for "the right one"  In a sea of potential, most of the time, they wait, watch and hope.

Important fact...they are on the jersey shore.  We are not talking major waves here.... There is one kid who doesn't wait.  He takes wave after wave, some short runs, many long runs along the wave instead of catching & riding the top of the wave to the shore.This kid is gangly with really long arms and hunched over form but he is getting lots of ride time!  He is getting lots of experience,  learning what works, what doesn't.  There's ni right or wrong way, to learn to surf or to live your life, but by jumping in more often than not you get more rides & learn more tha waiting for life to show up.

 It is an apt analogy for life, is it not?

Mindfulness Based Stress Relief Body Scan

 

MBSR YOGA & BODY SCAN EMBODIMENT

Something happened today.  Well, actually last night in the mindful yoga.  I was impatient for it to be over - going through the motions but not present even while present.           

What a metaphor for life.  Showing up but not bringing oneself to awareness or a place of allowing.  

Allowing stillness, allowing the moment, allowing oneself to be present, to be worthy of presence.  

Which again, makes sense if impatient. It's as if one is at a party of people judged to be better, more "real", worthy, entitled - and you just want to leave.   

I remember Debra remarking about the body scan being an opportunity to spend time with your body. This spoke to me, this I needed, this I wanted.  I sensed or felt non-verbally that this was a gateway a bridge to where I needed to go.  So, I did the yoga and began to notice how good my deep breaths felt, how satisfying, full, complete, good they felt during this singular practice and I liked it, did not shut it down, allowed it and wanted more of the same.  So I did the body scan this morning - looked forward to it.

In the body scan, I was definitely more present, did not fall asleep.  I "heard" much more of the guidance along each body part.  I practiced inhaling wellbeing, joy, worthiness and health to each cell then exhaling the energy down through the body parts as we finished each group (leg, arm, torso etc.).  As I exhaled, my leg filled with warmth...and I could do it every time...  It was so lovely, so easy.  The feeling of wellbeing, even joy, happiness, upliftment, presence lingered as she guided us to the next area and so it went.  

I now am aware of my connection, that I am rooted in this way of being.  I feel a slower sense of time and allowing, I feel wellbeing, joy - even.  I realize in this moment that what I am feeling is worthy.  Yes, I feel worthy, beloved, known, seen, connected to where/what I come from, that this is my  true place of being, this is what connection, wholeness, home.  

I am emotional receiving such a gift.  I feel I could cry.  It is a cry of recognizing it for what it is and the relief, the joy.  It is a cry of grief for all the years of feeling homeless, lost, desperately looking for home outside of myself as I had been taught it was, years of screaming silently - IT HAS TO BE HERE SOMEWHERE... This time, however, I know that even as I move in and out of allowing such connection and worthiness, I found it, and I am changed.  I am free to allow this for myself as I can choose to.  I know I will now begin to choose it more and more.  I know that I don't have to shrink it or shut it off.  Instead, I can look at what is going on that prompted shrinking and not dwell on the familiar feelings of sadness, lonliness, homelessness.  Those feelings are not who I am, they are a response that I can consciously change, shift, let go of, along with whatever prompted them.  I can even share the experience to discover new ways of being in the situation that prompted it.  I now know in body & soul that I Am Home, I Am presence, I Am worthy.  

This is me stepping into my power.  This is me, remembering who I AM.  This is Me in my physical form - from the inside out.  This is Me and I AM BLISS...and so it is...

I allow more of the same, Ah Oh

Om Shanti Om

Namaste

GRAVITY

From GRAVITY by Sara Bareiles

...all my fragile strength is gone

Set me free, leave me be

I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity

Here I am and I stand so tall

Just the way I'm supposed to be

But you're on to me and all over me

I live here on my knees as I

Try to make you see that you're

Everything I think I need here on the ground

But you're neither friend nor foe though I

Can't seem to let you go

The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down

Keeping me, keeping me, keeping me down

TRAIL WAYS

Omick Woods at Rocktown Preserve, Amwell, NJ

https://njtrails.org/trail/omick-woods-at-rocktown-preserve/

All of Nature shows us everything we need to know for living a vibrant life in flow with the rhythms of abundance, nurturing, going within, joy, freedom for the journey.  It also shows us that we have guides and signs helping us along the way.

Always reach for the light.

The light may be small or feel absent but it is never gone for long.

We all need time to withdraw, to hibernate.

 

What appears one way, can look very different from another angle.

Same "three" trees  became four when I walked along the path!

We always have choice...

...and can weave our way along various paths, create varied lifestyles.

Even the strongest of beliefs, plans, people can break open, apart...

...making way for new paths, gifts, opportunities, blessings.

There is beauty and there are gifts...

In that which plagues us...

There are always twists and turns.  Its best to go with the flow.

We have strong guardians standing with us every step of the way.

We are each unique and connected @ the same time.  

Reach for different to discover the same you share.

Sometimes the path is hard to discern...

  

Other times, it's very clear.

Put down strong roots, its a hell of a ride!

...and it sure helps when you have a soft place to land. 

Everything always looks better in the morning...

Lockdown

Lockdown - Brother Richard Hendrick*

Yes there is fear.

Yes there is isolation.
Yes there is panic buying.
Yes there is sickness.
Yes there is even death.
But,
They say that in Wuhan after so many years of noise
You can hear the birds again.
They say that after just a few weeks of quiet
The sky is no longer thick with fumes
But blue and grey and clear.
They say that in the streets of Assisi
People are singing to each other
across the empty squares,
keeping their windows open
so that those who are alone
may hear the sounds of family around them.
They say that a hotel in the West of Ireland
Is offering free meals and delivery to the housebound.
Today a young woman I know
is busy spreading fliers with her number
through the neighbourhood
So that the elders may have someone to call on.
Today Churches, Synagogues, Mosques and Temples
are preparing to welcome
and shelter the homeless, the sick, the weary
All over the world people are slowing down and reflecting
All over the world people are looking at their neighbours in a new way
All over the world people are waking up to a new reality
To how big we really are.
To how little control we really have.
To what really matters.
To Love.
So we pray and we remember that
Yes there is fear.
But there does not have to be hate.
Yes there is isolation.
But there does not have to be loneliness.
Yes there is panic buying.
But there does not have to be meanness.
Yes there is sickness.
But there does not have to be disease of the soul
Yes there is even death.
But there can always be a rebirth of love.
Wake to the choices you make as to how to live now.
Today, breathe.
Listen, behind the factory noises of your panic
The birds are singing again
The sky is clearing,
Spring is coming,
And we are always encompassed by Love.
Open the windows of your soul
And though you may not be able
to touch across the empty square,
Sing.

*Lockdown was written by an Irish Priest named Brother Richard Hendrick - 

https://www.irishcentral.com/news/coronavirus-lockdown-poem

Author Your Life

AUTHOR OF MY LIFE EVERYDAY...

I recently discovered the book, Author Your Life by Lara Zielin a story and tutorial for writing the life you want in order to bring it into being. 

"As a writer, I"m always considering what my characters want.  I"m always asking what their motivations are...what will make them happy?  What is a satisfying story for them?  But I had never really considered the story of my own life.  What was MY motivation, What would make ME happy?"

She spent the year of 2018 writing daily (20 min.) about a story of what happens in her life - the way she wants it to happen and, it all happened! 

Writing her like a character, I put her in situations that were amazing and awesome.  I fixed her heart, which was getting more than a little brittle and hard.  I gave her more compassion for people.  I gave her abundance - of time, of money, of love.  I gave her a great sex life and a healthier weight.  And I gave her joy.  Tons of joy.  Truck-fulls of joy.  Which is something real-life Lara had let dribble out of her, kind of like a slow leak over time that you don't realize is happening....

Anything I can think up, anything, I WANT, I can write into my (characters') life!  THIS was going to be fun! 

Basically, the idea of writing a story about me in the third person is a GAME CHANGER!  Like many in counseling, coaching or healing, I am easily able to offer clients compassion, comfort, support, understanding and...to think outside the box toward new possibilities.  But, for myself, I am often as stuck and limited as my clients feel.  I bring along my learned limitations, beliefs and stories...but as a character, all that falls away.  Lara says essentially the same thing happens for her as a writer:

 "Author Your Life is what happened when I wrote the story of how I wanted my existence to be.  When I dared to create a world for myself, the same way I would spend time and energy creating a world for my characters."

What also makes this feel so possible in my mind is that it is totally in sync with the Laws of Physics & Attraction - "where focus goes, energy flows".  Even though my "real life" stories, beliefs, limitations have been a conscious and unconscious focus of thought for a very long time, work like this or vision boards, affirmations etc. has long proved beneficial for upgrading mental/emotional/physical software & hardware right along with meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture and all the subtle energy WELLNESS practices.

The first things my character, Olivia is going to be able to do is to have a BLAST creating a routine for herself, her personal health and wellbeing of mind, body and spirit; ENJOY sticking to it and ENJOY the benefits!  And THAT, sweet wonderful you, Olivia, is a DELIGHTFUL resetting point to the story of your life and path towards BEING my unique LIVING OUTLOUD TRUE SELF.

The fabulous thing about freeing myslef is the ripple effect of freeing energy flows beyond me to those I live with and encounter.  And, as
I evolve myself, I evolve my ability to love and serve others.  It just does not get any better than that.

What story do you want to author?

FREEDOM IN REFLECTION

I had such a freeing realization this evening about betrayals I've been holding on to.  Funny, it comes to me following a Full Moon Kundalini chanting meditation with gong sound bath & the intention of releasing that which no longer serves us.  I guess it worked! 

BETRAYAL - I was very entrenched in one particular encounter as it came from a Spiritual mentor, teacher, healer and friend.  I had no way to process the experience because everything I had been taught was abandoned as I was eviscerated for not meeting expectations.   After a period, when I was able, I understood intellectually that the attack was coming from a place of powerful and deeply rooted fears on their part and fed my own similarly deeply rooted fears of not being enough.  But the enormity of it all has never left me fully.

Part of my "recovery" was discovering Abraham Hicks and the Law of Attraction....up to a point.  If I embrace the law of attraction, I must embrace all of it - including the bit about we create our own reality...  I thought:  I DID NOT CREATE OR HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ATTRACTING THAT BETRAYAL.  I can understand it and see how it triggered deep insecurity in me, but could not and would not see any opportunity for growth commensurate with the "crime committed".  It's been years now and in an instant tonight, I suddenly understood the message I was trying to give myself in that experience. 

REFLECTION - Another teaching of the Law of Attraction is that whatever is showing up in our lives, what we are attracting, is a reflection of the state of our relationship with our inner being, our inner truth, our reason for being...our relationship with higher self.  Initially, I did not want to see or get clear on that because it was so painful.  From the experience, I interpreted a state of blame...as I was being blamed, I thought it was a message about how I was guilty of not being enough.  Who wants to spend time there? 

Tonight, I suddenly understood the message so clearly, so cleanly and why it had been such a drastic betrayal.  Out of deepest compassion for ourselves we may have to ramp up the message to get it.  I guess I had not been getting the message...  I HAD SPENT FAR TOO LONG BETRAYING MYSELF, ME, I!  I saw it in multiple areas of my life and instantly understood that until I let this betrayal go - and others, that I wouldn't  stop betraying myself and I wouldn't stop creating experiences to point out my need to let go of self-betrayal!

I get it now and I am totally into the idea of exploring how to be more supportive and nurturing of myself,  more present and compassionate and affirming - that I AM ENOUGH.  That I'll never get it right and it's never done and getting it right and done is NOT the goal, the idea, the TRUTH of who we are!  The truth is we are SO MUCH MORE!  WHEN we are in sync with our own perfect-imperfection - without doing anything, MAGIC IS POSSIBLE!

Into Thee, I See Me.

Namaste

"REFLECTION"