FREEDOM IN REFLECTION

I had such a freeing realization this evening about betrayals I've been holding on to.  Funny, it comes to me following a Full Moon Kundalini chanting meditation with gong sound bath & the intention of releasing that which no longer serves us.  I guess it worked! 

BETRAYAL - I was very entrenched in one particular encounter as it came from a Spiritual mentor, teacher, healer and friend.  I had no way to process the experience because everything I had been taught was abandoned as I was eviscerated for not meeting expectations.   After a period, when I was able, I understood intellectually that the attack was coming from a place of powerful and deeply rooted fears on their part and fed my own similarly deeply rooted fears of not being enough.  But the enormity of it all has never left me fully.

Part of my "recovery" was discovering Abraham Hicks and the Law of Attraction....up to a point.  If I embrace the law of attraction, I must embrace all of it - including the bit about we create our own reality...  I thought:  I DID NOT CREATE OR HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ATTRACTING THAT BETRAYAL.  I can understand it and see how it triggered deep insecurity in me, but could not and would not see any opportunity for growth commensurate with the "crime committed".  It's been years now and in an instant tonight, I suddenly understood the message I was trying to give myself in that experience. 

REFLECTION - Another teaching of the Law of Attraction is that whatever is showing up in our lives, what we are attracting, is a reflection of the state of our relationship with our inner being, our inner truth, our reason for being...our relationship with higher self.  Initially, I did not want to see or get clear on that because it was so painful.  From the experience, I interpreted a state of blame...as I was being blamed, I thought it was a message about how I was guilty of not being enough.  Who wants to spend time there? 

Tonight, I suddenly understood the message so clearly, so cleanly and why it had been such a drastic betrayal.  Out of deepest compassion for ourselves we may have to ramp up the message to get it.  I guess I had not been getting the message...  I HAD SPENT FAR TOO LONG BETRAYING MYSELF, ME, I!  I saw it in multiple areas of my life and instantly understood that until I let this betrayal go - and others, that I wouldn't  stop betraying myself and I wouldn't stop creating experiences to point out my need to let go of self-betrayal!

I get it now and I am totally into the idea of exploring how to be more supportive and nurturing of myself,  more present and compassionate and affirming - that I AM ENOUGH.  That I'll never get it right and it's never done and getting it right and done is NOT the goal, the idea, the TRUTH of who we are!  The truth is we are SO MUCH MORE!  WHEN we are in sync with our own perfect-imperfection - without doing anything, MAGIC IS POSSIBLE!

Into Thee, I See Me.

Namaste

"REFLECTION"