Growing Up

So come to find out this weekend, the tv show the 13 year old has been watching non stop on her tiny iphone 5 screen all this time is Grey's Anatomy.  I don't know if I'm relieved or uneasy...it's such a mature show...  Then again, it's not about a dystopian society with zombies or vampires which is much to be grateful for.

Then I find out that "I have a boyfrined"...  He asked her out by text... Oh, and he's moving in August to Deleware...  Perfect...  Oh, and his name is Will and he lives around the corner...on her bus...

Parenting teens is such a wild adventure - I say that tonite when things have been going much better.  Last week, I'd have said it was heart breaking - which it is.   To be the recipient of such disdain on and on is not for the faint of heart.  I realized that I put way too much into my relationship with her because when she dissed me - right on schedule, even when I know it is a phase etc. etc., my heart cried out "Noooooohhhhhhhh!!!!"  I literally felt so heart broken, sad, lonely.  Not a bit roughed up and bitter sweet, I was somewhat lost by it.  Too invested in that relationship - should be getting what I get from her from my adult relationships.  Learning to sort it out and create some healthy distance for both our sakes...

Two Worlds

Since 2009, I have been on a journey or self-ascension - shifting one's life force from the primal lower root chakra of doubt and fear, to the heart and expansive upper chakra's of unconditional love, oneness, limitlessness, intuitive guidance and conscience connection to Source, Spirit, God, Cosmos, etc.  It is learning not to live motivated by fear and out dated beliefs.  It's letting go of illusions of separation, scarcity, and the patriarchal ideologies of disempowerment, competition and defensive tactics. The more I heal and release the more I am seeing that self-ascension is about learning to love myself.  In loving myself I am living from a more open and expansive heart which means I am able to be a reflection of greater peace, love, joy in my world - a win=win situation for all!

Rooted in greater unconditional love for myself and others I replace ineffective beliefs, fears and illusions and I am...

• Conscious of, aware of my connection to Source, God, Spirit, all creation.
• Trusting my inner knowing, intuitions
• Expressing myself with authenticity, speaking my truth
• Empowered by embracing my uniqueness, individuality, gifts as well as quirks, challenges, lessons
• Expressing my inspirations, passions and senses with creativity and joy
• Grounded in peace and trusting myself in all experiences

So, over the course of this journey of self-ascension, I have been dedicated to raising my vibration or energy towards the heart.  I have had limitless energy healing sessions by the best and have have become a Master healer myself.  I have studied, been attuned and initiated.  I have learned meditations and facilitate meditation groups.  I have learned and taught many spiritual practices.  I have gone vegetarian, juiced, chanted and done some yoga.  Have had readings, given readings.  Done astrology and numerology readings and given some astrology and numerology readings.  I have had past life regressions and multiple shamanic healings.  I have participated in sacred fires, full moon/new moon ceremonies with drumming and dancing.  I have worn crystals and essential oils, white, black and all the colors of the rainbow. I have travelled to sacred sites and vortices.

And, as with any journey, I have had peak and valley moments.  I am increasingly struck by the tenacity of fear, scarcity and patriarchal belief systems of disempowerment, judgement doubt and limitations.  The more I become aware of "enlightened" or conscious living, living in the now, mindfulness, spiritual practices, the more I realize the degree of resistance so deeply ingrained in my psyche, DNA, meridians.  There is a increasing differential between my day to day living and my understanding of living from the heart.  It is dis-heartening...

I am weary.  I am unsure I have the ability to overcome so many fearful limited beliefs.  I find I am distracting myself from self-ascension practices in my discouragement only giving rise to self judgement even if I know better.  I am a smart woman, how can I be so discouraged...???

When my "teacher" is in the area, I "wake up", shape up and show up.  I am inspired by how much lighter I feel, easier it is to embrace self-ascension living, to mingle the two worlds.  And yet, day to day seems to take over and I go to sleep feeling overwhelmed, ineffective and weary.  I start the day doubtful instead of embracing the new opportunity to allow all experience to guide me to the place in need of forgiveness, relief, release, clearing, love, acceptance, embrace...  What a gift, right?

It's all ok.  It's all good and I am an amazing Spiritual Being having a human experience of growth and expansion.  I let go of everything everyone has ever said to me, let go of all doubt and fear and visualize this moment connected to God, all creation, and the Galaxies, aware of love's fire, embrace and upliftment as I AM.  In this moment I trust myself, breathe and allow. All is well.  So it is.  Namaste...

What's it all ABOUT???

A friend led me to this blog post...  LOVE how she lays it out.

                How to Raise Your Vibration

I have subscribed to her post and really like it.  Lots there.

Learning to Blog - Learning to be an enlightened Novice & Master

I have so many times during a day when I want to write a post but seem to feel limited by the topic as not being general enough - "it should be on a different blog about THAT issue", that issue, that issue etc.  As a result, I don't post at all even if I am SURE whatever it was would be a topic that would engender conversation, thought, inspiration, etc. etc.  I am looking to establish what and how to explore these inspirations, ideas, thoughts, questions, wonderings, wanderings, curiosities, frustrations, . It's strange, a personal blog is truly an opportunity to NOT do it like anyone else.  After all, this is entirely my creation - it does not have to appeal to anyone.  Yet, aren't all blogs seeking response, connection, relationship, otherwise, why do a public blog, why "put yourself out there?"

Gets back to the basics...we are hungering for connection...  At the same time, aren't I supposed to live from the expanded, unconditional, spiritual connection to Spirit, God, Creator, Source and Gaia, the Earth, Mother Nature...  If I were truly living my Divine Connection-Divine Trinity, I might seek an opportunity to blog as a cyber teaching podium, but certainly not for cyber connection, validation, conversation...or not?

I am also conflicted about that teaching bit.  I love sharing all that I am learning...  It's all so thrilling, transforming and uplifting. I have learned so very much in such a short time. But I am also keenly aware that I am really such a novice in many ways...I've learned intellectually faster than my old beliefs, habits, lifetimes have transformed, transmuted, cleared.  And I still have many MANY questions!!!!!

To help clear the servant/slave to old beliefs, loyalties, lifetimes, roles etc..."Sometimes I "fake it until I make it".  It can get funny at times if I forget that I am not really "there" yet.

'But we's house servants, Miss Scarlett...we don't know nuthin' bout bringin' babies...'  (Liberties with combining two different unrelated quotes mine).  

Reminds me instead of the quote:  "There is not try, there is only Do"

We all have baggage.  It took us however long to get here and it ain't gonna take any longer or shorter than we are doin' it.  I am going to concentrate on moving forward and talking about whatever inspires me from my either my Novice voice or my "got-it" Master voice.


May you know your own moments of each as your journey brings you HOME - to YOU!

Namaste

Welcome to Dragonfly Sights

Welcome and thank you for checking out Dragonfly Sights!  As I created this blog, in particular the name, I googled the meaning of dragonfly's and came across a fabulous site/sight.  I first searched out the meaning of dragonfly's early in my mid-life transformation.  I had suddenly started seeing dragonfly's everywhere - in the yard, on my mailbox decor, zooming across my windshield, buying a wind chime and so on.  At the time, I embraced the symbolism of transformation and embraced dragonfly's as one of my guides.  The "syncronicity" of their showing up as I was transforming felt like a good omen, as if God were saying, "you will be fine and all is well."  

In my current search for the meaning of dragonfly's, I "saw" so much more than just transformation.  It is likely the case that my initial search presented such breadth, but I was not able to "see" it.  I am grateful for my broader vision.  At the same time, I love knowing that there is still so much more to transform, unmask and delve into but now perhaps with greater maturity, grace, agility, depth, iridescence, unbrazen raw power and the ability to see beyond the limitations of the human self!  

And so - Dragonfly Sights

Symbolisms of the Dragonfly - from http://www.dragonfly-site.com/

• Maturity and a Depth of character
  The dragonfly, in almost every part of the world symbolizes change and change in the perspective of self realization; and the kind of change that has its source in mental and emotional maturity and the understanding of the deeper meaning of life.
  
  The traditional association of Dragonflies with water also gives rise to this meaning to this amazing insect. The Dragonfly’s scurrying flight across water represents an act of going beyond what’s on the surface and looking into the deeper implications and aspects of life.

• Power and Poise
  The dragonfly’s agile flight and its ability to move in all six directions exude a sense of power and poise - something that comes only with age and maturity.
  The dragonfly can move at an amazing 45 miles an hour,  hover like a helicopter fly backwards like a hummingbird, fly straight up, down and on either side. What is mind blowing is the fact that it can do this while flapping its wings a mere 30 times a minute while mosquitoes and houseflies need to flap their wings 600 and 1000 times a minute respectively.
  
  The awe inspiring aspect is how the dragonfly accomplishes its objectives with utmost simplicity, effectiveness and well, if you look at proportions, with 20 times as much power in each of its wing strokes when compared to the other insects.  The best part is that the dragonfly does it with elegance and grace that can be compared to a veteran ballet dancer. If this is not a brazen, lazy, overkill in terms of display of raw power, what is?

• Defeat of Self Created Illusions
  The dragonfly exhibits iridescence both on its wings as well as on its body. Iridescence is the property of an object to show itself in different colors depending on the angle and polarization of light falling on it.
  
  This property is seen and believed as the end of one’s self created illusions and a clear vision into the realities of life. The magical property of iridescence is also associated with the discovery of one’s own abilities by unmasking the real self and removing the doubts one casts on his/her own sense of identity. This again indirectly means self discovery and removal of inhibitions.

• Focus on living ‘IN’ the moment
  The dragonfly normally lives most of its life as a nymph or an immature. It flies only for a fraction of its life and usually not more than a few months. This adult dragonfly does it all in these few months and leaves nothing to be desired. This style of life symbolizes and exemplifies the virtue of living IN the moment and living life to the fullest. By living in the moment you are aware of who you are, where you are, what you are doing, what you want, what you don’t and make informed choices on a moment-to-moment basis.
  
  This ability lets you live your life without regrets like the great dragonfly.

• The opening of one’s eyes
  The eyes of the dragonfly are one of the most amazing and awe inspiring sights. Given almost 80% of the insect’s brain power is dedicated to its sight and the fact that it can see in all 360 degrees around it, it symbolizes the uninhibited vision of the mind and the ability to see beyond the limitations of the human self. It also in a manner of speaking symbolizes a man/woman’s rising from materialism to be able to see beyond the mundane into the vastness that is really our Universe, and our own minds.

I look forward to what emerges as the dragonflys...

Namaste,

OVW