TESSELLATIONS IN NATURE

TESSELLATIONS IN NATURE     

Patterns in nature show me patterns in my life, in all life.    

Sometimes we need to feed on that which brings us joy...

 Soak it in, withdraw, integrate, germinate, rest... 

Allow the pauses, the seeming absences, the waiting...

To emerge refreshed, renewed, magnificent!

The ebb and flow, life-death-new life of nature...

Helps me to flow during the ebbs, to breathe, to allow their gifts.  

Because in every moment, we are a creation in process of creating...

Asteroids of Wisdom

Asteroids

As the family watches episode 5, The Empire Strikes Back, I am once again, out of the room, unable to handle the drama...  Never was able to - I Dream of Jeanie, I love Lucy, even Bewitched at times.  I had such difficulty handling the trouble these characters would get their family into, the drama they created, the seemingly insurmountable odds they were up against.  Star Wars takes that all to a new level!  My kids crack up because I had to leave, physically leave my seat during Big Hero Six!  

Well, that is my journey to figure out - in the mean time, throughout the film, little pearls of galactic wisdom are tossed to the audience like asteroids spinning into our stratosphere.   Do they land and implode, explode or fix themselves into the fabric of our galactic selves in recognition of their Truth?

On Mindfulness:A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph! Adventure. Heh! Excitement. Heh! A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless! 

On Meditation:Luke: But how am I to know the good side from the bad? Yoda: You will know... when you are calm, at peace, passive. A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, NEVER for attack. 

On life as a reflection of our self-perceptions:Luke: I feel cold. Death. Yoda: [points to a cave opening beneath a large tree] That place... is strong with the dark side of the Force. A domain of evil it is. In you must go. Luke: What's in there? Yoda: Only what you take with you. 

Over and over entertainment gives us clues, sparks our remembrance of who we are and how we are to support ourselves in this "otherworldly" human journey as spiritual beings in a time-space reality that enforces everything that we are not such that we get to a point where we must-

Yoda: You must unlearn what you have learned. 

I've been reading The Cloister Walk by Kathleen Norris.  It is a collection of stories/essays on her experiences and thoughts during a time in which she is an oblate within the Benedictine tradition.

According to the Benedictine website: http://www.osb.org/obl/ 

An Oblate is a lay or clerical, single or married, person formally associated to a particular monastery. The Oblate seeks to live a life in harmony with the spirit of Saint Benedict as revealed in the Rule of Saint Benedict and its contemporary expression.

I never knew a lay person, let alone a married woman could reside and participate in monastic living, practices, ritual.  I am fascinated and totally drawn in to her descriptions of liturgy, rhythm, monastic life.  I find it very compelling, feeling drawn into the spiritual intentionality and the practice of daily living as devotion.  I don't know if I could actually handle it, but very much want to try - when the time comes...when the girls are launched.  Until then, it fills my heart to know such an opportunity exists.  Oh, and until then, I also feel drawn to take up social dancing... A great way to prepare for those long periods of meditation and prayer.        Many paths, many teachers...

St. Frances of Rome.  Patroness of Benedictine Oblates.   

Growing Up

So come to find out this weekend, the tv show the 13 year old has been watching non stop on her tiny iphone 5 screen all this time is Grey's Anatomy.  I don't know if I'm relieved or uneasy...it's such a mature show...  Then again, it's not about a dystopian society with zombies or vampires which is much to be grateful for.

Then I find out that "I have a boyfrined"...  He asked her out by text... Oh, and he's moving in August to Deleware...  Perfect...  Oh, and his name is Will and he lives around the corner...on her bus...

Parenting teens is such a wild adventure - I say that tonite when things have been going much better.  Last week, I'd have said it was heart breaking - which it is.   To be the recipient of such disdain on and on is not for the faint of heart.  I realized that I put way too much into my relationship with her because when she dissed me - right on schedule, even when I know it is a phase etc. etc., my heart cried out "Noooooohhhhhhhh!!!!"  I literally felt so heart broken, sad, lonely.  Not a bit roughed up and bitter sweet, I was somewhat lost by it.  Too invested in that relationship - should be getting what I get from her from my adult relationships.  Learning to sort it out and create some healthy distance for both our sakes...

Two Worlds

Since 2009, I have been on a journey or self-ascension - shifting one's life force from the primal lower root chakra of doubt and fear, to the heart and expansive upper chakra's of unconditional love, oneness, limitlessness, intuitive guidance and conscience connection to Source, Spirit, God, Cosmos, etc.  It is learning not to live motivated by fear and out dated beliefs.  It's letting go of illusions of separation, scarcity, and the patriarchal ideologies of disempowerment, competition and defensive tactics. The more I heal and release the more I am seeing that self-ascension is about learning to love myself.  In loving myself I am living from a more open and expansive heart which means I am able to be a reflection of greater peace, love, joy in my world - a win=win situation for all!

Rooted in greater unconditional love for myself and others I replace ineffective beliefs, fears and illusions and I am...

• Conscious of, aware of my connection to Source, God, Spirit, all creation.
• Trusting my inner knowing, intuitions
• Expressing myself with authenticity, speaking my truth
• Empowered by embracing my uniqueness, individuality, gifts as well as quirks, challenges, lessons
• Expressing my inspirations, passions and senses with creativity and joy
• Grounded in peace and trusting myself in all experiences

So, over the course of this journey of self-ascension, I have been dedicated to raising my vibration or energy towards the heart.  I have had limitless energy healing sessions by the best and have have become a Master healer myself.  I have studied, been attuned and initiated.  I have learned meditations and facilitate meditation groups.  I have learned and taught many spiritual practices.  I have gone vegetarian, juiced, chanted and done some yoga.  Have had readings, given readings.  Done astrology and numerology readings and given some astrology and numerology readings.  I have had past life regressions and multiple shamanic healings.  I have participated in sacred fires, full moon/new moon ceremonies with drumming and dancing.  I have worn crystals and essential oils, white, black and all the colors of the rainbow. I have travelled to sacred sites and vortices.

And, as with any journey, I have had peak and valley moments.  I am increasingly struck by the tenacity of fear, scarcity and patriarchal belief systems of disempowerment, judgement doubt and limitations.  The more I become aware of "enlightened" or conscious living, living in the now, mindfulness, spiritual practices, the more I realize the degree of resistance so deeply ingrained in my psyche, DNA, meridians.  There is a increasing differential between my day to day living and my understanding of living from the heart.  It is dis-heartening...

I am weary.  I am unsure I have the ability to overcome so many fearful limited beliefs.  I find I am distracting myself from self-ascension practices in my discouragement only giving rise to self judgement even if I know better.  I am a smart woman, how can I be so discouraged...???

When my "teacher" is in the area, I "wake up", shape up and show up.  I am inspired by how much lighter I feel, easier it is to embrace self-ascension living, to mingle the two worlds.  And yet, day to day seems to take over and I go to sleep feeling overwhelmed, ineffective and weary.  I start the day doubtful instead of embracing the new opportunity to allow all experience to guide me to the place in need of forgiveness, relief, release, clearing, love, acceptance, embrace...  What a gift, right?

It's all ok.  It's all good and I am an amazing Spiritual Being having a human experience of growth and expansion.  I let go of everything everyone has ever said to me, let go of all doubt and fear and visualize this moment connected to God, all creation, and the Galaxies, aware of love's fire, embrace and upliftment as I AM.  In this moment I trust myself, breathe and allow. All is well.  So it is.  Namaste...

What's it all ABOUT???

A friend led me to this blog post...  LOVE how she lays it out.

                How to Raise Your Vibration

I have subscribed to her post and really like it.  Lots there.

Learning to Blog - Learning to be an enlightened Novice & Master

I have so many times during a day when I want to write a post but seem to feel limited by the topic as not being general enough - "it should be on a different blog about THAT issue", that issue, that issue etc.  As a result, I don't post at all even if I am SURE whatever it was would be a topic that would engender conversation, thought, inspiration, etc. etc.  I am looking to establish what and how to explore these inspirations, ideas, thoughts, questions, wonderings, wanderings, curiosities, frustrations, . It's strange, a personal blog is truly an opportunity to NOT do it like anyone else.  After all, this is entirely my creation - it does not have to appeal to anyone.  Yet, aren't all blogs seeking response, connection, relationship, otherwise, why do a public blog, why "put yourself out there?"

Gets back to the basics...we are hungering for connection...  At the same time, aren't I supposed to live from the expanded, unconditional, spiritual connection to Spirit, God, Creator, Source and Gaia, the Earth, Mother Nature...  If I were truly living my Divine Connection-Divine Trinity, I might seek an opportunity to blog as a cyber teaching podium, but certainly not for cyber connection, validation, conversation...or not?

I am also conflicted about that teaching bit.  I love sharing all that I am learning...  It's all so thrilling, transforming and uplifting. I have learned so very much in such a short time. But I am also keenly aware that I am really such a novice in many ways...I've learned intellectually faster than my old beliefs, habits, lifetimes have transformed, transmuted, cleared.  And I still have many MANY questions!!!!!

To help clear the servant/slave to old beliefs, loyalties, lifetimes, roles etc..."Sometimes I "fake it until I make it".  It can get funny at times if I forget that I am not really "there" yet.

'But we's house servants, Miss Scarlett...we don't know nuthin' bout bringin' babies...'  (Liberties with combining two different unrelated quotes mine).  

Reminds me instead of the quote:  "There is not try, there is only Do"

We all have baggage.  It took us however long to get here and it ain't gonna take any longer or shorter than we are doin' it.  I am going to concentrate on moving forward and talking about whatever inspires me from my either my Novice voice or my "got-it" Master voice.


May you know your own moments of each as your journey brings you HOME - to YOU!

Namaste